I think people feel awkward giving compliments and just letting them hang there in the air. You’ve had your hair cut sounds so much better rephrased as, “wow that new colour looks great” or “your hair looks good. “You’ve had your hair cut.” “You’re wearing a skirt” Both of those would be a sure fire way to end a conversation with me immediately as I would either think the person is being a smart ass and mocking me in some way or otherwise assume they are just a bit stupid and have nothing to contribute other than literally saying aloud the things they are noticing as they are noticing them!! It adds nothing to conversation and can make people just feel awkward e.g. I like the point you make about avoiding stating the obvious. Tell me what your amazing conversation starters are! Have you ever had any embarrassing or relationship sealing small talk moments? Watch this awesome video of Ita Olsen: Why am I Not Automatically an Incredible Speaker Ok, Your Turn to talk about your experiences with small talk! His sauceome small talk resulted in a new great friendship!ĭon’t let the truth get in the way of a good story–or conversation starter! Kudos to him! It takes courage to start a conversation with a total stranger, and his little white lie didn’t do any harm. After he got my digits he confessed it was a lie. After I told him, he said, “It’s my sister’s birthday I’m going to get it for her.” We chatted for a bit after that. A guy comes up to me, says “That’s a great bag! Where did you get it?” A great opening question that is also a compliment. I know I said no questions, but make sure it’s a unique question, and as long as you have a cool reply to the answer it’s ok!įor example, I was at a snack bar & my bag was on the counter. To keep the conversation going after a compliment, you can ask a question. I personally don’t think it’s appropriate for a colleague to comment or compliment a woman’s skirt. People know when your compliment is not genuine.Ĭomplimenting is Kind (& Makes Great Small Talk)Ĭompliment within the boundaries of appropriateness, of course. Just say, “Wow! Your hair looks great!” Or if you can’t bring yourself to lie, talk about something else. “You colored your hair.” Those are some shark senses right there. If someone changes their hair color they’re usually cognizant of it. Obtaining an American Accent Is Likely Not What You Think Compliment, don’t comment I think we need to work a little harder than that.īut certainly, practice the answer to that question so you can share something interesting that gets people talking. Most people ask these questions just because they’re making conversation. I’ve lived in quite a few places since then. Where am I from? I’m from a small town on the north shore of Long Island. Side-note: “Where are you from?” is a difficult question for most people to answer these days. Asking, “Where are you from?” Then making where I’m from be about her. This story contains both errors I’ve mentioned thus far. I’m sure she wasn’t trying to be my friend, mind you, but insulting where I’m from is not going to make me like you. I went there once, and there was steam coming out of the ground it was so dirty.” That was her version of small talk. Every time I check-in, she goes, “Where are you from?” I’d tell her, “I live in Manhattan.” she’d say, “I hate New York. I often stayed at the same hotel, and a girl that worked there asked me every single time where I was from. Always take me out after work to check out the amazing food & beverages. (Or as my 7 year old says, “Saucesome.”) Very hospitable folk. I travel down to Austin a few times a year to help a corporate client. How to Nail Your Job Interview & Land Your Dream Job Uuuuuhhh…nothing…things are good…how about you? Here are 2 examples of awkward small talk. The conversation goes nowhere and there’s an awkward silence. Very often after these questions are answered you’ve reached an awkward brick wall. We don’t need the specs before we start to chat. You’re a plumber? Ba-bye!” Making conversation isn’t Tinder, folks. Unless you make your decisions about people based on that information. Where people are from & what they do are details that are best left for after you get to know someone a bit. So why do we keep asking? People have been asked that question countless times they have routine answers that bore even them when they tell the stories. Nobody wants to answer the questions “What do you do?” & “Where are you from?” Nobody does. Exactly the opposite of what everyone tells you, right?
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